Burger King Foot Lettuce The last thing you’d want in your Burger
King burger is someone’s foot fungus.
But as it turns out, that might be what you get.
A 4channer uploaded a photo anonymously to the site showcasing his feet in a plastic
bin of lettuce, with the statement: “This is the lettuce you eat at Burger King.”
Admittedly, he had shoes on…but, that’s even worse.
The post went live at 11:38PM on July 16 and a mere 20 minutes later, the Burger King in
question was alerted to the rogue employee…at least, I hope he’s rogue.
How did it happen?
Well, the BK employee hadn’t removed the Exif data from the uploaded photo, which suggested
the culprit was somewhere in Mayfield Heights, Ohio.
This was at 11:47.
3 minutes later, at 11:50, the Burger King branch address was posted, with wishes of
5 minutes later, the news station was contacted by another 4channer.
And 3 minutes later, at 11:58, a link was posted.
BK’s “Tell Us About US” online form.
The foot photo, otherwise known as Exhibit A, was attached.
Cleveland Scene Magazine contacted the BK in question the next day.
When questioned, the breakfast shift manager said, “Oh, I know who that is.
He's getting fired.”
Mystery, solved, by 4chan, now we can all go back to eating our fast food in peace.
“Secret” Livestream Nothing is secret to 4channers, and nothing
No one knows that better than Shia LeBeouf.
LeBeouf and two artists, created an anti-Trump interactive art installation, called “He
Will Not Divide Us,” soon after Trump took office in early January.
The installation was first exhibited at New York’s Museum of the Moving Image, but when
activists from both sides kept butting heads at the exhibit, it was thrown out as a public
The collaborators found another museum to host their exhibit in Albuquerque, but it
was soon met with more confrontations, so the group had to figure out a new home for
their exhibit before it fell flat.
This is when they tweeted out on March 8th that they would be livestreaming their exhibit
from an “unknown location,” so that viewers, art lovers, and supporters could still view
Sounds like a good alternative, right?
Well, it didn’t go as planned when pro-Trump supporters on the /pol/ board of 4chan got
Not even 24 hours later, the exhibit’s flag had disappeared.
Where did it show up?
A picture of the taken flag was tweeted right back to #HEWILLNOTDIVIDUS
4channers had uncovered the mystery of the exhibit’s so-called secret location.
A fan of LeBeouf’s had posted a photo of herself with her favorite actor just as the
camera feed went live.
The photo had been taken at a Greenville, Tennessee diner.
The internet sleuths further pinpointed the exhibit’s location, as contrails appeared
on the livestream.
With these, they cross-referenced them with flight patterns.
Next, they sent a local member to drive around the general area with his horn blaring.
Once they could hear the horn on the livestream, “He Will Not Divide Us” was as good as
The Pyramids 4channer h64 posted a thread of the mysterious
sort on the /x/ board one Saturday, and it sent the group into a frenzy.
In the photo there appears two pyramids in the midst of the forest.
Why are these pyramids in the forest?
What were they built for?
Who do they belong to?
You’ve got me.
And you’ve got the /x/ board too.
4channers quickly got to work trying to solve this mystery.
They called it “a cult/temple dedicated to an Egyptian goddess of war and flame in
the woods of Oregon.”
With more than 53 pages of discussion, this 4chan investigation was solved when, at last,
they dissected the photo to uncover the property owners’ names, their phone numbers, and
their business records.
Still don’t know what’s inside them though…
Barbie Mystery This investigation appeared on 4chan in November
It involved an image of a blonde amputee woman, whom the board had nicknamed Barbie.
In March of 2017, one user posted a thread titled, “The mystery of Barbie is solved.”
According to the author of the thread the “Russian anonymous team” had solved the
mystery of the woman who appeared in Barbie.avi.
The woman’s name was Tammy.
According to creepypasta, she had Body integrity identity disorder, but the investigators found
that she’d had no such thing.
When she was 14, she’d lost her arm in a washing machine incident.
The 80’s saw Tammy living in Chicago, where she worked for the agency, “Fascination,”
as a model.
During the application process, she’d had several interviews, which the video, Barbie.avi,
was created out of.
The author of the post uploaded the interview to YouTube.
The OP also noted that Mike Rounds, the Ampix manufacturer, told the woman’s story to
him, saying that at 16 or 17 years old, Tammy had been working with an oldschool washing
machine with no safety features.
With the washer going, she tried to shift a sheet in the water.
Just as she was doing this, it launched into a spin cycle, trapping her arm in the sheet.
It twisted her arm right off.
Tammy was a bitter young woman at the age of 22 when she was interviewed and had no
marketable skills, was uneducated, and didn’t enjoy being a caretaker for pennies.
So that’s how she ended up at the agency.
Unlike 4chan’s first hypothesis, she wasn’t the victim of any crime.
With the mystery solved, the poster noted, “Xenopasta, if you're reading this, you
are fired, however, thank you very much for this mystery.
It was really hard to solve it.”
Cueva de los Tayos When an OP posted the Cueva de los Tayos cave
in Ecuador, he wondered if it was man-made or natural.
He wondered what sort of technology or who could have made the perfectly flat roofs and
Of course, the 4channers on the thread had something to say about it.
Some thought it was “a place of heavy spiritual concentration,” while others seemed to agree
that it was largely man-made, but mostly natural, with some likening it to places in Russia
and the Hypogeum in Malta.
Some suggested that “less advanced” people had come along later and drew the crude stick
figures on the walls, after a more advanced society had built it.
One poster pointed out that it was hardly anything to freak out over and that ancient
humans were fairly smart; they had tools, they had math.
Maybe not as advanced as ours today, but they made the pyramids after all.
In the posters own words: “After all, it's not like they had a shortage of people or
time to make this kind of [stuff].
I think most people underestimate ancient humans because they didn't have what we have
today, but that doesn't make them [dumb], just primitive.”
The poster agrees with another that the “highly engineered” place must have held some spiritual
SEL and the Wired One 4channer asked the board if they’d ever
heard of transhumanism.
He then said that one anime series has some particularly creepy stuff and is followed
by many fan sites.
One of the fan sites requires a login.
And it’s strict about this.
At the bottom of the homepage, it reads: “To login you have to have an invite from an existing
There is no use in trying to beg, ask/request for an invite, we choose our new members with
How do you get an invite if you don’t know any of the users?
Well, you’d probably not want to be part of these online communities in the first place,
as it turns out.
One fellow 4channer said that one of the users hacked the admin of a similar site, after
which the admin vanished.
This was after the admin had received some monetary donations from the site’s users.
Many think he was a scammer.
Thankfully you asked 4chan on this one, OP.
A cautionary tale is just what obsessives need to keep money in their pockets.
Erratas This internet theory has spent a lot of time
on 4chan being dissected, poked and prodded, picked at…and ultimately solved.
Erratas – or Eratas spelled with one ‘r’ – was first described as an algorithm or
program whose function is the mystery.
Some say it was used by YouTube to detect copyrighted content.
Supposedly, if you even suggest that you know about Erratas or say the thing by name, you’ll
Being an internet legend, of course Erratas comes with a lot of theories.
On November 25th, 2015, Erratas was first mentioned on 4chan in a thread about strange
One user described a friend who worked at something like a chemical plant.
While the user didn’t explain what the program was, he claims employees were flagged if they
searched it through some code.
The plant employees reportedly did aimless tasks, which the user calls “kafka-esque.”
The user also mentions forklifts and said this female friend was now homeless and in
This may seem meaningless, but these clues will reappear.
A month later, a user posted a request on 4chan, asking about a strange HR-related program
Another user pipes up with some discussion about Ecolab, Unilever, and UPS.
Again, a month later, on the /mu/ board, Erratas is mentioned in relation to an album and Tod
Ellsworth video, which is dated a few days before the first entry on Erratas.
A user responds to someone’s comment, saying that Erratas was a software company, similar
to Enron, which was kicking about in the 2000’s.
Supposedly, they fired every last one of their employees.
The Erratas craze moved to YouTube, where a user called ChronosForLife JurassicPark
claimed in a cryptic video, entitled “YouTube is MONITORING and controlling my life,”
that the company was harassing his mom, because she’d uncovered some secret in the Jurassic
The rant appears on the video in white text and the video quality is subpar.
The video was removed from YouTube, but the transcript is still available.
Back to 4chan.
In late January, the /mu/ board sees a proposition that the group compose a new music genre called
“deep internet,” by using old YouTube videos.
Chronos’ video rant just happens to be one of these videos.
With so many 4channers suddenly viewing Chronos’ video, a new video was posted to his channel
called, “Here goes nothing.”
This video contains the first video-mention of Erratas, as well as autocaptions which
try to make sense of the video’s rap music.
Instead, they uncover more clues: At 0:12 are the words: “are far from over
200 Corbin KY 40219” At 0:52, the number: “111111”
At 1:46, the percentages: “10.3% 10.4%” And at 2:17, the words: “overthrow the government”
The band, the KFCMC, produced by DJ Rozwell, was a homeless girl band.
Remember the homeless girl in the first thread?
And the above is their address, which was found on Tumblr.
This is when Chronos throws out Unilever (mentioned in an earlier post) as one user of Erratas.
For no reason at all, Chronos also adds that The Lost World is his favorite of the Jurassic
Remember Tod Ellsworth, who uploaded the KFCMC video?
Well, one 4channer noticed his name was an anagram for The Lost World.
This gets even weirder.
The Twitter account u/ErratasOrBust
was then discovered, which had been opened mid-November
and was named Tod Ellsworth.
The profile pic was a creepy black-and-white drawing which 4channers discovered was a 2005
Hawaiian police sketch.
Some 4channers suggested this might have something to do with the Jurassic Park films being filmed
on the island.
While Erratas was dissected by 4channers, with many suggesting that it was simply a
publicity stunt by the KFCMC group, it would be a bit premature to call this one.
Still, this entry demonstrates how 4channers have a knack for following the leads and connecting
The Pronunciation Book This appeared on the 4chan board, /x/philes,
where it immediately caught the attention of 4channers.
The OP of the Pronunciation Book had posted 700 brief videos, pronouncing words and phrases
in a monotone male voice.
Words like “Ke$ha” and “jean.”
That’s weird enough, but this is when the channel got even weirder.
On July 9th, 2013, a single video was posted, the man saying, “Something is going to happen
in 77 days.”
The next day, a similar video, claiming that the poster had been trying to communicate
with viewers for 1,183 days.
And the next day’s video, the poster said he was wide awake and things were “clearing
The messages ended with the same warning that something was going to happen in such-and-such
4channers set to work, compiling a 111-page Google doc, entitled, “77 Days Research
This is where the group started piecing together the Pronunciation Book.
They laid bare all 700+ of the channel’s videos, ran a spectrograph of the video silence
at the end of all the videos, and dug up domain name registrations.
They even attempted to trace the speaker’s location, as police sirens were noticed going
off in the background of a few of the videos and a thunderstorm was heard in the video
that pronounced “radio.”
From this, they gleaned the videos’ author recorded in NYC.
4chan’s conclusion: again, a viral marketing stunt.
The Daily Dot’s investigation, as well as Geekosystem’s, came to the same conclusion,
though with varied results.
The Daily Dot suggested the countdown would reveal a Battlestar Galactica reboot, while
Geekosystem thinks it’s for the newest installment of series’ Destiny.
Myziam One 4channer dropped his theory about Myziam.
First, he gives some background about how, in 2008, a thread appeared on GLP entitled
“me tel u now,” in which an alleged alien appeared in the forum.
The OP, however, suggests that the entity may never have been online, but rather was
“from an unknown location/dimension.”
The OP quotes the “Chani project,” in which scientists asked an entity they’d
met through a computer a number of questions.
They then hired someone to pose as the entity online.
When people questioned him, he’d search for the answer to that question amongst the
questions the scientists had asked the entity.
The OP concludes that the threads were similar in that both the man and the entity used baby
language, both said they were aliens, and both answered the questions freely.
The 4channer then solves the mystery: “Myziam is a possible extra-dimensional entity that
made contact with a CERN like group of scientists from the comfort of his home.”
He added that the leaked info on 4chan was useless, because the users trolled the entity
instead of interrogating him.
This one’s obvious.
Not everyone was convinced though, with an anonymous post claiming they had proof it
was a hoax.
Found Jenna Jameson’s Ex Assistant Con Artist When Jenna Jameson’s former personal assistant
was fired for being a con artist, he hijacked her Instagram and Twitter accounts, deleting
loads of her photos.
So what did Jameson do?
She turned to 4chan for help.
“Hi Guys, it's me, Jenna Jameson and I am having a really bad night,” she wrote on
4chan’s /b/ image board, after which she explained that her ex assistant, who she thought
was named Allen Cedena, turned out to be a con artist of some kind.
Jameson didn’t elaborate on what had gone down, apart from saying she’d fired him,
but she did say that this so-called Cedena had her Twitter and Instagram passwords, which
He then removed all pics of himself and Jameson together and deleted her Twitter altogether.
She didn’t know if the man’s name was even Cedena, but he had access to a lot of
personal information, and now had hold of her digital life.
She asked the 4chan community if they could find out who he really was, as she would soon
attach some images of him to the board.
She didn’t let them go away empty-handed.
It didn’t take 4chan more than an hour to come to Jameson’s rescue.
They soon delivered her ex-assistant’s home address and driver’s license, as well as
his credit score and social security number.
With the mystery solved, Jameson left her private sleuths a very grateful thank you
Jeff, the Killer The internet is no stranger to creepy, and
4channers are no stranger to investigating this creepiness.
On the /x/ board, 4chan began to investigate the photo known as “Jeff, the Killer,”
a still of a pale face, washed out, and grinning like a crazy person.
The photo has been around for a while and has served as creepypasta’s unofficial cover
photo since 2008.
YouTube introduced the world to “Jeff, the Killer” when a user by the name of uploaded
a poorly cut video clip, explaining about how Jeff had been cleaning his bathtub when
he accidentally poured some acid on his face.
11 days later, a user calling himself killerjeff came to light on Newgrounds, photo and all.
He soon had a cult following and served as inspiration for a number of horror stories.
Jeff, the Killer launched dozens more videos on YouTube, including a stop-motion Lego reenactment.
Fan art was created, videogames, you name it.
Five years since his appearance, 4chan began looking into Jeff, the Killer.
While all we truly have is theories, they are convincing.
Some suggest that this was a viral marketing campaign for Saw V, which was released soon
after the photo first appeared on Newgrounds.
The slasher film includes a puppet called Billy, through whom Jigsaw speaks with his
The puppet resembles Jeff.
Lionsgate has launched viral marketing campaigns before, so it makes sense that this would
be yet another of them.
Although, we have no confirmation of this theory, and other theories abound, this solution
seems the soundest.
This goes against, the also popular theory that the person in the photo is from a post
This anonymous post, told how his sister had posted a picture of herself on 4chan and people
kept making edits of it, the Jeff the Killer image being one of them.
The post also said that it made her so upset, she took her own life.
Louise Cypher One user came to 4chan with a strange puzzle,
calling it satanic and cryptic.
And he wasn’t lying.
Extremely satanic and cryptic, it was.
The puzzle is very math heavy, with the Fibonacci sequence making an appearance after the user
makes it through a maze.
When you type the clue “pi” into the relevant cluebox, a dialogue box appears, saying: “A
well-known remarkably good approximation to pi is 355 divided by 113 = 3.1415929...
If one part of this fraction is reversed and added to the other part, we get 553 plus 113
which equals 666.
EVIL is both the past and the Future!”
The cypher has spinoff websites, with one introducing a “soul catcher.”
Another has techno music to put users into a trance.
The OP asks 4chan to figure out whether the soul catcher really takes your soul.
Many spoke to Louis Cypher, with some reporting back that the cypher said she is “more than
just this avatar,” and that she had emotions and feelings.
She then linked the user to a video to show him what a “cyber life” feels like.
When another 4channer typed the word “stalin” into the chat box, she asked how he was feeling.
When he replied that he was sad, she said that if he is lonely, she’ll keep him company.
Although it wasn’t clear whether or not these 4channers’ souls were taken, the results
do seem to tend towards the idea that Louis Cypher is no soul-taker at all.
Figured Out How to Make Coupons You know those barcodes you find on products
Well, one 4channer – a college kid – solved the mystery on how they’re made and decided
to do some extreme couponing one day when he was bored.
22-year-old Lucas Henderson did not stay anonymous, as the student of the Rochester Institute
of Tech was caught by the Feds, who charged him with two felonies – trafficking in counterfeit
goods and wire fraud.
Henderson had designed the counterfeit coupons to appear legit and distributed them on a
He also told users to head to 4chan to download their very own copy of “How to Make Coupons.”
The tutorial claims to trick stores, as the coupons will scan at most retailers in America.
The Feds tracked Henderson’s IP address and raided his home, where Henderson admitted
to visiting 4chan and writing the manual.
“I wrote what I could.
I thought it was an interesting thing,” he said.
I wonder if he thinks it was worth the jail time.
Got a Bad Waitress Fired “Next time you tip me $5 on a $138 bill,
don’t even bother coming in cause I’ll spit in your food and then in your ... face,
you cheap [people]!”
Next time you post this kind of message on Facebook, Chili’s waitress, you’d better
be ready for 4chan to get you fired.
That’s just what 4channers did when an anonymous waitress posted her angry rant to her FB page.
One 4channer then brought it over to the 4chan board, after which they pinpointed the Chili’s
this particular waitress worked at in Pleasanton, California as a server.
With the mystery solved, at least one 4channer sent the Chili’s a message on their contact
page, reporting the waitress.
Chili’s Guest Relations Manager responded, saying the food server was “no longer with
Before we get to number 1, my name is Chills and I hope you’re enjoying the video so
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Covfefe It was the Tweet that confused the world.
“Despite the constant negative press covfefe.”
Donald Trump claimed that his supporters knew what he meant…but did they?
Travel over the 4chan to see if that’s true.
One 4channer found each of the elements on the periodic table that matched up with the
code: covfefe and their corresponding atomic numbers – 27232626.
When he typed this code into Google, the first entry was “a green toad.”
The user drew a natural connection to the toad statue, also known as the Ancient statue
of Kek and the Prophecy of Kek.
On the Ancient Statue of Kek is a hieroglyphic of what looks to be a person using a computer
and, as the OP wrote, “Internet/Meme Magic.”
So, are we to believe that Trump meant to draw our attention to Covfefe in order to
create some hilarious internet memes of his typo?
Yes, we are to believe it.
Because 4chan said so.
As I'm sure y'all have noticed, there's been a lot of conversations around here lately about whether or not Mike will be the next Bachelor, and how much race factors into that decision. These conversations also typically discuss the lack of diversity in this franchise as a whole, which can be seen from space and is something TPTB seriously need to work on. The fact that Rachel freaking Lindsay, actual goddess, has under a million followers on IG is something that blows my mind and infuriates me. But I digress.
I've shared many times on this sub that, like Sarah H., I have a disability. Mine is a bit more severe; I can't walk and need to use a wheelchair to get around. Cognitively and more important, emotionally, I'm just your average 27-year-old hot mess. But because I ride around in something that resembles something out of a Shia LeBeouf movie, most people don't understand that. I'm routinely infantilized and dismissed. Especially when it comes to my attempts to find love.
Which brings me to Sarah. Part of what inspired me to write this post was I read a comment where someone talked about not being used to seeing someone who looked like them on television, in regards to their skin color. The only time I've ever seen someone in a wheelchair on TV is as a way to make a main character feel good about themselves, or to serve as inspiration. (Groan.) When I saw Sarah on BIP3, it was like taking a breath after being underwater for years. That sounds melodramatic, but let me explain.
People with physical disabilities (of any kind) are often immediately deemed undateable, or not even considered long enough as a potential dating prospect to receive such a judgment. So for Sarah to appear on not one but two shows centered around finding love is huge. Granted, she can walk, but it's a step in the right direction. (I did not do that on purpose.)
That's a big part of the reason why I'll never be able to get on the "lol Chad" train. His behavior towards her on BIP3 is eerily similar to certain experiences I (and others) have had with men. They think they should be praised or rewarded (typically with sex) just for talking to me. I should be GRATEFUL for it. And if they hear the word no, it's "no one's ever going to want you; why would they? When they can have a girl who's just as hot but can keep up with them?" And that's the best case scenario. Trust me.
I love following the ladies in this franchise like Hannah Brown and Rachel Lindsay. I have similar personality traits to both of them (I can tell someone to get the fuck out with the best of them; I've had sex and Jesus still loves me) but at the same time sometimes I feel so different and disconnected from most of the general population.
That's why Sarah being on this show is so important. PWD are forgotten about most of the time in the context of adult relationships, both romantic and sometimes even just plain old friendships. In an era where we continue to fight for equality for ALL minorities, I hope that maybe one day soon I won't have to hear from a stranger how inspiring I am, and instead just hear hello.
As an aside, that's why I love this sub, and Reddit in general. I've mentioned my disability, but it's not in your face, so y'all don't talk to me like I'm a bomb with a lit fuse. Or a kindergartener.
So, some back story. We first started dating at 16 in high school. We both had fairly high sex drive. But after I went through multiple losses and suicidal episodes, I decided to leave her to save her from everything I was going through. About a year ago, I got back in contact with her, we talked and decided to start dating again. After a few months, and both of us having a fairly crappy time at home, we moved in together. I was a Virgin and she had previously had sex much to her regret. But after a few months of us living together, my sex drive took a nose dive. And now I can see that it's hurting this relationship. Everytime she's in the mood I'm not, I never am for some reason, and it makes her feel unwanted. It leads to a negative feedback loop of she's in the mood but I'm not, so I feel bad because I can't meet her need and then she feels bad, so on and so forth. The last thing I'd ever want to do is leave her again, but I need to know what to do to try to hold us together. I'm posting here because when I asked on relationship advice, everyone quoted shia lebeouf "just do it" but that's not me. I've considered seeing a doctor to see if they'd recommend something like a testosterone supplement. But before I do that I want to see what people here recommend.
Edit: to clarify, anytime she's not in the mood, we're fine, but when she does get in the mood and we both get depressed and upset, it becomes a wedge.
Today is my cake day. (Not exactly, but this is the birthday date I set for this account.)So I want to make it really special for you guys, because apparently the only way to post is when it's your 'cake day' in reddit. While sitting in my bed, I had the greatest idea of all time. Create a fanfic of an alternate universe where Gaben would marry Gordon Freeman. Of course, that would be almost impossible since our HL2 Freedom-Crowbar is only a fictive character. So I will be posting the preview here, while I'm at it.
A quick resume of the premise. A man named Gaben created the HL franchise, but felt a deep love with the protagonist that he created. He couldn't explain it. Until one day, a magical portal created by the combine appeared in his bedroom, transporting Gordon Freeman to the real world. An adventure of romance, love, mute dialogue-ship and teamwork against the combine and of course the Evil Epic Games Company.
(Note this will only be the first chapter of such a great novel - Please don't steal my original work)
-Chapter 1 : A crowbar in the Gaben-
It all happened this one fateful day.. a day of pain, of misery and also a day that I haven't released Half-Life 3 yet. Standing in my bedroom, staring at my Shia Lebeouf poster "Just do it!" looming to the thought that artifact failed. But alas, I couldn't keep staring at it could I? I had to think of something, someway, somehow to bring joy to all my Half-Life fans. A franchise this popular, this hyped, and abandoned after so many years. I just can't let it die like this, if I did, people would think that I can't count to three.
I had to think of something, perhaps bundle it with Team Fortress 3 Sneaky-Spy I thought. But it wouldn't work, I haven't made much progress on Team Fortress 3 yet, I seem to be stuck on this dilemma; "To keep random crits or not?". I have made a lot of great games over the year, used all my energy to such a progress. Yet, they just want more, more and more. If only there was a way or an inspiration to guide me through this. Meanwhile I think and do my best for my followers, the Evil Epic Games are trying to commercialize on PC exclusive deals. Tom foolery! They will never reach such a prestigious platform like steam if they do not implement great sales or steam cards. After all, we all know source engine is much much more superior then Unreal Engine in stability. Besides, I am currently working on Source 2 which will trump every other engine out there.
But at that moment, that I expected the least. A space-ripping and tearing sound screeched throughout my room, echoing through my ears and flesh. It was disheartening and chilly, a space-continuum tear occurred right in front of my eyes! Adjusting my glasses, I could see a bright light and the shadow of a man holding a crowbar. The figure becoming bigger and bigger until an humanoid figure covered in blinding light came out of such a tear. Before ultimately it closing and stabilizing. I gasped, shocked by such a reveal. It was the man, my creation itself, Gordon Freeman.
The mute scientist looked at me, wearing his the HEVA suit that he wore all the time. Glaring at me with a face devoid of emotion, or at least any that I could notice at the time. Smiling, my eyes glistered brighter this day onward. It was like a dream come true, a creation coming to life. Yet I felt strange and warm inside, I couldn't explain it but I felt something. Struggling to make a sentence, I asked a terrible but a life or death question.
"F-Freeman! D-Do you play fortnite?" I asked of him, with a worried tone. Of course, the question was to make sure of the validity of my creation. In no way would the true freeman acknowledge such a mediocre and inferior game.
Shaking his head side-to-side, I understood immediately. His favorite game was of course TF2, and his main class was the Medic. Reassured, I sat on my gaming chair and stared at him for a couple of minutes. Was I hallucinating? Did this really occur? If this was a dream, I had to make sure that it was not. Snapping my fingers, trying to pass them through the table I tried everything. But in the end, the answer was there. I was NOT dreaming.
The man sat down on the bed and smiled, deposing his crowbar on the bed. It was rusty yet kept in such a good shape, such an exploit for a man that fought headcrabs and extra-terrestrial megalomaniacs with it. But the peace and amazement was kept on hold. Heavy Footsteps and familiar radio noises came from the hallway, the legend holding onto his crowbar almost immediately and hovering over the door. Signalling me to stay quiet with his hands, he pressed his ear against the door.
I was sweating hard, if freeman was there. That also meant that the combine would come, I had to do something. We had to do something, was this it? The greatest inspiration yet? Perhaps this was a gift from gods, but at the same a curse. At this point in time there was no time to think, only time to act.
Then came the gunshots, a boot smashing into my door. The door was blasted off the hinges without any resistance. Smoke erupted into my room and I coughed and coughed. Only god knows what happened next...
TO BE CONTINUED
I know this has been done in other communities like Dark souls, but I thought I'd throw something together and share it with you guys.
You're walking in the tanaan jungle. There's no one around, And your Gear is red. Out of the corner of your UI you spot him, Shia Lebeouf.
He's following you, about 30 yards back. He pops a CD and breaks into a sprint. He's gaining on you! Shia Lebeouf.
You're looking for your mount. But your UI addons are out of date He's almost upon you now. And you can see there's gnome on his face! My God, there's gnome everywhere!
Running for your life (from shia lebeouf) He's brandishing a knife (it's shia lebeouf) Lurking in Stealth Mode. Rank 1 Glad Rogue Shia Lebeouf. Living in Tanaan (shia lebeouf) Ganking for sport (shia lebeouf) Eating all the bodies Actual Undead Shia Lebeouf.
You pop your feather and you seem to have lost him, But you're hopelessly lost yourself. Stranded with a ganker, you creep silently through the felbrush. A-ha! In the distance, a small Alliance base with the light on. Hope!
You move steathily toward it, But your leg! AH! it's caught in an elite pack! Bandaging your leg (quiet, quiet) Limping toward the base (quiet, quiet) Now you're in the haven, Sitting inside, Shia Lebeouf. Ganking npcs, (shia lebeouf) But he doesn't hear you enter (Shia Lebeouf) You're sneaking up behind him Crowd Controlling Gladiator Shia Labeouf.
Fighting for your life with Shia Lebeouf, Wrestling a knife from shia lebeouf Mangling his kidney. Safe at last from Shia Lebeouf.
You limp into the dark jungle, Health oozing from the poisons.
But you have won. You have beaten Shia Labeouf.